I know we've all endured a wide variety of testimonies on the first Sunday of the month. The travel-mony, the story-mony, the grateful-mony, the political-posturing-for-local-government-mony. It seems like no matter what our local leaders say regarding the proper bearing of testimonies, given an open invitation, people will say whatever they want. Like the guy in my ward last month who counseled against the evils of canned vegetables. (Not the way the Lord intended us to enjoy our greens...)
Therefore, I propose a solution. Install turnstiles on the way up to the pulpit and issue every member an electronic access card. This way the Bishopric will have something to hold over your head when they request that you not bring up the revelation your great uncle had regarding reinstating polygamy.
An additional benefit that can be gained is added security for those presiding over the meeting. I'm not talking about protection from gun-weilding psycho's, but something more clandestine: the sleep-deprived young mother who charges the pulpit after hearing the "reverence in Sacrament Meeting" talk for the third time.
I'll volunteer my ward as the test ward.
